


12 Months

by kimseira



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Post-Free! Dive to the Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimseira/pseuds/kimseira
Summary: At the end of a moving story's final passage,there is tears.At the end of nostalgic memories,there is you.
Relationships: Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is January, the time I go abroad for my olympic preparation that will took 12 months.  
> It is also the time I received a first letter from him.  
> A letter whose sender’s address is not written on it.  
> But still, he write his name.  
> Though I would have known it was him without him even telling me.

_Haru-chan,_

_Are you surprised because you suddenly received a letter?_

_Haru-chan, it only has been 2 weeks since you left us for your future but I already miss you._

_How are you? Is practicing hard? Since I knew you love swim more than anything so looks like I don’t need to worry at all._

_But still, don’t force yourself and take some rest!_

_Smile more so you can make more friends there, if you are having a hard time you can tell Rin because he’s lived abroad once so he’s experienced._

_Haru-chan,_

_I have a news to you, I hope you won’t get mad at me._

_I’m moving out from Japan~_

_I’m going to study abroad!_

_I'm sorry that it's too sudden. Forgive me for not telling you sooner._

_Where?? Well, I won’t tell you for now~ maybe later!_

_Isn’t being a mysterious make a man more attractive? hahaha_

_Don’t worry, I will still sending you my letter every months from now on!_

_Since it’s winter, I hope you didn’t get sick and always wear warm clothes. Hot chocolate every night before sleep is good too :)_

_I think I’m writing quite a lot for someone who just tried to write a letter for his very first time so I will end it here._

_Fighting on your practice!!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	2. February

_Haru-chan,_

_It’s already a month since the first time I send you my letter! Time sure flies!_

_Are you managed to set a new record already? I guess so since it’s Haru we are talking about!_

_Are you doing well? I’m doing well here, although it’s kind of awkward to adapting to a new environment but I still tried my best just like you hehe._

_It would be good if I can give you my number and having a video call everyday, but I lost my phone hahaha_

_Well~ write a letter to you like this is moreeeeeee than enough for me._

_The winter supposed to end soon but here in my place is still so cold so I rarely go out._

_Today I made a snowman, just like the one we made together when we were little in the park near our house._

_I remember you used to wear a matching red scarf and gloves while build the snowman with me. You looked so cute back then._

_Ah, you still look cute now too hahaha._

_I hope your day filled with happiness there. I hope your practice is going well. Let’s make Japan proud! Fighting Haru-chan! I will always support you from here!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	3. March

_Haru-chan,_

_Welcome to March which means welcome to springgg!!_

_We used to see cherry blossom everywhere before in Japan, so what about there?? Which flowers that bloomed during spring?_

_How about you brought some flowers and take care of it? My mom said looking at flower is good to relieve some stress, so she brought one for me and it really works!_

_Since we are still in early spring, go open your window while you are at home and enjoy the cold yet fresh spring breeze! I did it a lot and I believe you will also find it soothing :)_

_Did your coach give you enough break? If you find it exhausting, make sure you tell him!_

_An athlete is also a human who need proper rest. Don’t forget that your health is the top priority! I would get mad and fly there if you ever get sick! So don’t ever try._

_Are the food there to your liking? Although I knew they won’t make you starve but if you have an upset stomach because you aren’t used to the food there you can buy some mackerel, don’t force yourself to eat what they told you everytime, you deserve to eat what you like too, understand?_

_Well, I think I talk like a mother already hahaha. Fighting thereeeee!! Bye! Wait for my next month’s letter!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	4. April

_Haru-chan,_

_Have you brought some flowers home?? Are you taking care of it diligently?_

_Flowers are sensitive and fragile creatures, so make sure don’t forget to give them attention every now and then. It might be a bit of a hassle, but once you see it bloom beautifully, you will feel happy!_

_What are you eating today? Is the food there delicious?_

_Today my mom made me boiled mackerel!! Are you jealous?? Hahaha forgive me_

_The taste isn’t as delicious as the one you make, but it still worth to eat since you also knew that my mom is a good cooker hahaha._

_Talking about mackerel, I was the one who told my mom that I’m starving for it because I had a dream about our senior high school._

_I remember when the four of us often spend our time in your house and you will cook mackerel for us every single time. Back then I started to avoid it but now that I haven’t eat it for quite a long time, I kind of miss it, and so I asked my mom hahaha._

_Well, I hope you also have some time to cook and mackerel there so you can boost your energy up in the middle of your hard practice! Eat well, rest well! Fighting fighting!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	5. May

_Haru-chan,_

_How are you? Did you have enough sleep?_

_I’ve been talking like your mother for several times already but I can’t help but worry about you when I’m not at your side. So make sure you had proper rest!_

_I tried to stretch my body for a bit since I haven’t exercise for awhile but I ended up sprain my shoulder hahahahaha if you are here you must be scold me for not being careful._

_Fortunately, it’s my left one so I still can write a letter for you. And don’t worry, the doctor said it just need around three days for it to heal properly._

_Take care of your body there and make sure to always warm up before jump to the pool. I would scold you if you sprain yourself too!_

_Since I went to the hospital, I met a little kid who looks like you! We talk and play for a long time and he gave me his drawing~_

_He draw a dolphin! He said he like dolphin the most! Doesn’t he look a lot like you?? Remember when we first join the iwatobi swim club and Sasabe-coach told us to choose any small doll that looks like a key chain and we both choose the dolphin one? You took the dolphin since I like the whale one too~ Ah such a good time to remember._

_It’s midnight here while I’m writing this letter so I think I should go to sleep now hehe. Haru-chan too, make sure to get some sleep, ok? Bye~ Fighting!!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	6. June

_Haru-chan,_

_It’s summer!! It’s very hot there right???_

_Don’t forget to turn the AC on!_

_This time, you can take a bath for a long time to freshen up yourself. But don’t sleep there, you will catch a cold._

_And . . ._

_HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!_

_Although this letter was sent in June, I’m not sure which date and time this letter will get delivered to you so I will just congratulate you hahaha._

_You saw the flower I send with this letter right?? It's called carnation, I hope you like it!_

_I wish you a happy life, I hope you can achieve your dream, I’m praying for God to always look after you, hold you, and bless you when I’m much too far away._

_For your birthday, you need to do everything you want! It’s your special day after all._

_Ah how I wish I can be there to celebrate your birthday but sadly I can’t do it due to my circumstance right now. But still, my prayers are always with you._

_Well, I think Rin and your friends there will probably buy a cake for you later. But please pretend like you didn’t know about it, ok? Act surprised! Don’t tell them I told you about this possibility hahahaha._

_I can’t wait for celebrating your birthday together again, but I will wait until the time comes~_

_Bye for now, make sure to eat and sleep well. Fighting our Japan’s ace!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	7. July

_Haru-chan,_

_Since it is July now, it’s getting hotter right??_

_Don’t force yourself to practice, please take some rest so the heat won’t torture you._

_Are you having fun there?_

_I’m alright here so I hope you enjoy your time too while practicing._

_I want to tell you to balancing your daily practice and do your hobby but I knew swim is your hobby so practicing might be your way of enjoying yourself hahaha but don’t get overworked, ok?_

_Since it’s hot, you should get out and have some ice cream like we used to do, but this time you need to go alone or you can ask Rin to go with you if you are afraid of getting lost._

_I heard they have more diverse flavors there than what we have in Japan, so why not try it out? It would be fun to taste something you haven’t taste before. You might ended up find your new favorite flavor!_

_Ah write about ice cream made me starve for it, maybe I should get one too now hahaha. That’s it for this month, byeeee! Fighting with your practice!!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	8. August

_Haru-chan,_

_How are you today? Are you ok?_

_It’s so so for me. The thing that make me enjoy my day the most is the time I write you a letter._

_I like how I can imagine your expression when you read my letter hehe._

_Have you make some friends already?_

_Other than rest at home, you can also spend your free time to hang out with your friends._

_I bet some of your friends already asked you to hang out with them but you probably just apologize and walk straight back home._

_However, sometimes you need a fresh air, a new scenery to look at._

_Go out to eat at famous restaurant or drink at popular café, go watch the popular movie in the cinema, or all of you can just go to the beach since you still can swim there but with different view!_

_Knowing that you made some new friends and spend your day with them will put me at ease._

_After all, I want you to live your life to the fullest even when I’m not around you at this time._

_Well what matters the most is you enjoy your life so I won’t force you to do everything I want you to do. But make sure there’s no regret when you go back to Japan later since it’s rare to have friends from various countries which is so cool hehe._

_You can also introduce them all to us later, Nagisa will definitely like it!_

_Now I will end this month letter here. Please looking forward to my next letter~ Fighting there!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	9. September

_Haru-chan,_

_A new season arrived again~_

_Now let’s say goodbye to the hot summer and welcome the peaceful autumn!_

_By the way, my mom send her greetings to you!_

_She saw me write the letter for you and said she miss you so much._

_She said she miss the time when you play at our house and when she always cook for you and told me to bring the food everyday to your house since she worried you might ended up eating mackerel for the rest of your life hahaha._

_She really thought of you as her own son._

_Well, all people in my family thought of you as a part of our family._

_So because of that, you need to live happily, not just for yourself but for me and my family too, ok?_

_Talking about autumn, it should be the time for the otsukimi right now._

_I remember how we used to go to watch the moon together and how my siblings ended up fight with each other and cry so we can’t enjoy the view for too long hahaha I’m sorry._

_How about the view of the moon there? Is it as beautiful as the one we saw back in Japan? I hope you live in a place where you can see the moon clearly and enjoy the view there._

_I too will enjoy the view from my place here~_

_Now that the hot summer just ended now you don’t have to worry about overheating while practicing anymore. So keep fighting! I will cheer for you forever!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	10. October

_Haru-chan,_

_What are you doing today? Are you doing ok?_

_I hope you are always doing okay._

_Today I finished a book my dad bought for me since I have a lot of free time._

_I knew you aren’t into book, but maybe you can try to read some later if you are bored, it’s good to kill some time._

_I love a quote from the book, it said “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us”. Don’t you find the words powerful?_

_When I read it, I remember about how you finally decided to become a professional swimmer. Being beside you and watching you grow made me so happy and proud._

_I’m glad that you now can stand on your own._

_I hope you will always be happy with the thing you choose._

_Oh talk about professional swimmer, how about Rin? I never asked about him hahaha please tell him my greetings so he won’t get mad at me._

_I hope you two get along well, don’t fight, ok?_

_I hope you get along with other professional swimmers too since you must be good at English right now, right~? I hope Haru-chan still remember kanji after coming back to Japan later hahaha._

_Please make a lot of friends there~_

_Last, I won’t get tired to tell you to please eat well, sleep well, and rest well!_

_Fighting on your practice and take some break once in awhile. Bye~_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	11. November

_Haru-chan,_

_My birthday is coming soon and so I miss you!_

_A day feels like years without you hehe. Do you miss me too?_

_Lately, I’ve been remembering a lot of our memories. I keep having the flashback._

_Remember when we had a fight in junior high school?_

_It’s that time when we made up in pool after swim together._

_It’s that time when I told you I love Haru-chan and swim so I want to swim together with you._

_Too bad that we can’t swim together lately because of our separate way, but still, I’m glad I swam a lot with you! All of it are so precious for me._

_You will be back in January next year right??_

_You must miss Japan so much right? After all, it’s your home._

_I want to go back to Japan too and spend my time with you again._

_When you and I in Japan. Let’s meet again!!_

_The time sure flies fast, it’s almost winter again._

_Remember to take care of your health. Fightiiing!_

_Your best friend,_

_Makoto Tachibana_


	12. December

_Haru,_

_How are you today? I hope you are doing okay :)_

_Since it's winter, make sure to use a thick jacket and scarf when you are going out._

_When you arrived home, please bath in warm water._

_Don't forget to eat some vitamin, you need to maintain your health._

_Haru.._

_I'm sorry, this will be my last letter._

_This letter will be the longest one, I hope you will read it until the very end._

_I keep writing and writing for this but seems like I can't find a right words to explain so I hope you understand if this letter is a mess, but before that, once again, I'm sorry._

_The reason I'm moving out from Japan is not to study abroad.._

_I have to undergo chemotherapy._

_I have leukemia, a blood cancer._

_I just found out about it last year, it took me 6 months to decide wether I should move to a better hospital and better environment or to stay.. beside you._

_The reason I didn't tell you at that time is because I knew you will tell me to go to get better treatment, but somehow, I still want to be around you, I still want to see you a bit longer, even from a side pool._

_Because I like you._

_Even until the very last, I still want to stay by your side, but I can't keep make my parents worried, so in the end I should move, and luckily you have an olympic preparation abroad too so I don't need to bid a farewell to you directly which I sure will be too hard for me to do it._

_The reason why I keep sending you a letter every month is because I want you to remember me even when I'm not around you anymore._

_But I think I can't keep being selfish, so I decided to limit it to 12 months. Its more than enough. I need to make it clear before you coming back to Japan. I shouldn't chained you with me more than that. However, what I want the most is for you to be happy, so please live your life freely. You like "free" after all :)_

_Haru, I'm sorry for leaving you so suddenly. I too don't want to leave.. but I can't go against my fate._

_Haru, thank you for everything. To met you since I was a child and stay with you as we are both growing older is the best thing that I ever have, so I have no regret in my life, and I hope you too._

_When you read this letter, I'm no longer in the same world with you._

_But like I said, my prayers will always be with you._

_So please be happy, Haru._

_I_ _love you._

_Sorry for being selfish until the very end, for leaving you after saying this, but I want you to know my true feeling towards you._

_Bye, Haru, let's meet again in another life._

_When the time comes, I will make sure to find you and never leave your side._

Your best friend and the one who love you,

Makoto Tachibana

* * *

It's blurred.

Haru can't see anything anymore.

The tears filled his eyes.

" _WHY?!_ ", he is screaming, without a voice, his chest burned, it's hard to breathe nor he want to breathe, he too, want to die.

He doesn't know what to do.

He is helpless.

For the first time, he hate to be "free".

He cried until there is no more tears left.

He can't remember how he stay alive until he back to Japan in January.

He went to Makoto's house the moment he arrived but all he can see is _SOLD_ word sticked in his house's door.

* * *

It has been a week since Haru back live in Japan again, yet his eyes still filled with emptiness.

No matter how hard he tried to looking for Makoto's adress or his parent's phone number, he found nothing but silence.

A sight of Makoto's smiling in his living room appeared and disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Then someone is knocking on Haru's door.

He run as fast as he can.

He felt on the floor yet he forgot the pain and run to the door with bleeding knee and open the door.

It's Makoto's mom, with mournful smile on her face.

" _Can you go out for awhile with me?_ ", she said, still with the same smile

10, 20, 30 minutes.

They finally arrived.

It's a white glamorous yet peaceful building with flower-patterned ceramics everywhere, a tranquil cemetery, a perfect place to rest for someone as kind and beautiful as Makoto.

They walked for three minutes and stopped in front of a photo of someone they both knew.

Yes, it's Makoto.

" _Last year, he told me to bring you here for his one year anniversary of his death_.", Makoto's mom start to talk,

" _He write all those letter in around a week in January, when he is bedridden in a hospital in Canada and told me to send it to you every month since he can't do it. He told me not to tell you about his condition and kept our address hidden. I think we both knew that he didn't want to see you sad. I can't say no to his wish since it's the first time that child ever asked me for something, he was such a filial son I will always proud of._ ", she stopped for awhile,

“ _The next day after he wrote his last letter, he left this world.. with a smile. The last thing he told me is to bring you here because he want to meet you. He said he missed you._ ", she took a long breathe,

" _Haru, thankyou for became someone important to Makoto, thankyou for made my son's life precious. Thankyou._ ", tears falling on her cheeks.

Haru too.

He is crying.. again.

They both cried silently..

while seeing a smiling photo of Makoto in a wall with flowers.

" _Makoto, now what should I do?_ ", Haru whispered in a hurt tone

* * *

_Makoto,_

_its January again,_

_but this time there's no letter from you anymore, so instead I will be the one who send you letter every month._

_Makoto, you knew that I'm not very good with words, but I will try my best from now on._

_Makoto, how are you doing there? Are you seeing me?_

_Makoto,_

_I miss you_

_I miss you so much that it hurts._

_People said that the time flies and will heal everything, but our memories are too strong that it keep breaking its wings._

_Makoto,_

_I don't know how many times I've been calling your name, so, can you just for once, call my name again? I won't be mad with the "–chan" you always put in my name when you call me. So, just for once, can I hear you call my name again?_

_Makoto, can you comeback?_

_The world is not the same without you._

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been on my mind for years and I'm glad I finally can write it.  
> Please support my very first work in this site and follow my new twitter acc @heyitsseira.  
> Thankyou :)


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